


Insecurity in the Face of Change

by sartiebodyshots



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M, Post Game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-06
Updated: 2016-08-06
Packaged: 2018-07-29 16:52:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7692214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sartiebodyshots/pseuds/sartiebodyshots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time that Zevran and Sereda spar after the twins are born.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Insecurity in the Face of Change

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Zevran x Warden Week at (you guessed it!) @Zevranology

Sereda’s body still aches from giving birth to the twins.  It has been an exhausting few months, but also supremely rewarding.  Falling pregnant had been a surprise and discovering she was pregnant with twins had been an even bigger surprise, but it has been so good.  

“So…” Sereda murmurs one afternoon, nudging Zevran.  “Both Jelah and Amias are asleep at the same time for once, and Anders can take care of them if they wake up.”  

“Ah, that is why it is so quiet for once,” Zevran says.  “I can tell that you have something on your mind, my dear.”

“Oh, you know me so well,” Sereda says, grinning as she stands up and pulls Zevran with her.

* * *

“You know, my dear, I was expecting something else,” Zevran says, swinging at her with the practice dagger.  

“Okay, maybe you don’t know me so well,” Sereda says, parrying him easily.  

“I am just saying, your body has been through a lot.  It is okay to rest,” Zevran says.  “I know you’re not familiar with the concept, but I will teach you.” 

“The twins are a month old,” Sereda says, lunging forward.  “And I’m not asking you to do your worst.  Just a little practice because it’s been over a third of a year since I’ve held a sword.”

“Have you been counting?” Zevran asks as he twirls away easily.

“Maybe.”

“Just don’t overexert yourself, my dear.  I would hate to accidentally hurt my wife.”

They said their vows well over a year ago and had been basically married for long, long before that, but he still loves calling her his wife.  Of course, she still loves hearing it and still loves calling him her husband, so it all works out.  

“I’ll be careful.  I do have to be able to feed the twins in a few hours, after all.”

Their chatter falls away as they really start to get into it.  While Sereda isn’t entirely sure what she expected when she picked up practice swords for the first time, she didn’t expect it to be so… uneven.  

Her body still knows what to do.  The weight is familiar in her hands.  This is what she was trained to do, and sparring with Zevran has always flowed so smoothly.  After so much time together, they both know each other’s moves as intimately as they know their own.  Some couples dance together, but since Sereda isn’t nearly as graceful as her husband, she had always preferred it when they sparred together.  It felt like dancing should, she always thought.

And yet, it takes so much more effort for Sereda to swing her swords, and she has to think about her next move in a way that she hasn’t had to in decades.  If Zevran wasn’t going easy on her, she would doubtlessly be on the ground many times over.  Her reflexes are just so much slower than they used to be.

It also doesn’t take long for her to tire, which is especially embarrassing considering she’s not wearing her armor.  She’s just wearing a tunic and pants, made of light and airy material, but soon enough, she’s panting and sweating under the hot sun.  

“I surrender,” Sereda says, lowering her weapons in defeat. 

“Ah, now it is time for me to claim my prize!” Zevran says with a grand grin.

Zevran drops his daggers and slides easily into her personal space.  He drops to his knees so they’re at eye level, wrapping his arms around her waist to pull her gently to him.  It’s all very grand and the way he kisses her, deep and loving, lets her forget her frustration with herself for a moment.

“You did well, my dear,” Zevran murmurs when they pull apart.

“Don’t patronize me,” Sereda says, harsher than she intended.  “If you hadn’t been holding back, I’d be covered in bruises.”

“You have not fought in months.  You have given birth to two beautiful, healthy children.  They grew inside of you, Sereda!  I cannot imagine the stress that puts on your body, but I know that many women die from just birthing one child,” Zevran says softly, stroking her cheek.  “Be patient with yourself.”

“No,” Sereda says firmly.

Before Zevran can reply, Sereda pulls away.  She steps towards the water’s edge, letting cool waves wash over her feet.  The ocean has always fascinated her, at least since coming to the surface, and she’s so glad that they live right on it.  Another thing to thank Zevran for.

Zevran stands next to her, in reach, but not actually making physical contact.  By now, they know each other’s boundaries, and he knows that she’ll want to initiate contact.  

“They’re so helpless, Zevran,” Sereda says softly.

“What?” Zevran asks.

“The first attempt on my life was made when I was just months old.  They wanted to kill Trian, actually, but decided to go for both of us.  He was two.  You were sold when you were seven and forced to do terrible things.  The world doesn’t care that children are innocent, that they’re small and helpless,” Sereda says, reaching to take his hand as her voice cracks.  “I won’t let the world hurt our children, Zevran.”

“My dear,” Zevran says, soft, “we are not going to sell our children into an assassin guild. I know we are both worried about whether we will be good parents, but I'm not worried about that.” 

Sereda presses herself against his side and he wraps an arm around her.  He’s sticky from sweating, but it doesn't bother her.  

“There are raiders, bandits,  _ Bhelen _ ,” Sereda says, voice tripping over her brother’s name. She’s never feared him before, but if she thinks about him even knowing that she has children, she becomes filled with dread.  “I have to be able to protect our children.  I’m their mother.”

“First of all, just because you're not at your peak fighting shape does not make you helpless.  You could still easily dispatch a band of raiders with little problem.  Second, I am also ready to kill anyone who would hurt Jelah and Amias,” Zevran says.  “They aren’t without protection while you rest.”

“I know, and they couldn’t ask for a better father to protect them,” Sereda says softly.  “But I can’t help worrying anyway.  You could be gone, after all.  I’m just so full of fear all the time now, and there’s no one to fight.  It is so much easier when you can just… stab what’s making you afraid.”

“I understand.  I had never expected to deeply love anyone- other than you, of course- but when I held them in my arms I knew that I was holding the two people in this world that I would love more than you,” Zevran says.  “And even though you have had so many powerful people trying desperately to kill you, I never worried about you this much- and right now only four or five people even know they exist.”

It’s good to know that she’s not the only one so full of fear.  She’s felt like a fool these past few weeks, as the fear has set in.  If Zevran is also afraid, then maybe she’s not completely irrational.  

“It’s always going to be this terrifying, isn’t it?” Sereda asks.  “Especially because we’ve seen so much of the worst the world has to offer.”

“But we have also seen the best of it,” Zevran says, “and we will make sure that our children see the best of it.”  

Sereda smiles up at him.  “We will.”

“We will also make time to spar, so you will have one less thing to worry about,” Zevran says.  

“It did feel so good to swing a sword again,” Sereda says.

“You will be terrifying everyone in sight soon enough,” Zevran says.  “The neighbors will run in fear.”

“We don’t have neighbors,” Sereda says, nudging him a little.  “You wanted privacy so we could skinny dip.”

“Ah!  You have scared them off already,” Zevran says lightly.  “Incredible!”

Sereda faces him, looking up at him with a smile on her face.  She leans up and he leans down automatically.  His face is warm as she cups it, stroking his cheekbones, and his lips soft against hers.

The water laps at her ankles, cool and soothing.  Her feet have sunken into the sand, and she wiggles her toes.  

“I love you.  I’m so glad that our children have you as their father, my love.  I’m so glad to have you as my husband,” Sereda murmurs.  

“I have quite enjoyed being your husband, as well as being the father of your children,” Zevran says softly.  “I look forward to many more years of both.”

Sereda looks back towards their cottage, where she hears the familiar cry.  It sounds like Jelah; although, it can be hard to tell the twins’ cries apart.  What’s unmistakeable is the intensity of the cry; she won’t be satisfied by Anders rocking her back to sleep.  

“I will get her.  You take a moment to clear your head,” Zevran says.  

“Thank you,” Sereda says.  

Zevran kisses her hair before turning to walk back into their cottage.  She watches him go, hair even brighter gold than usual in the afternoon sunlight.  Even though she knows every muscle, every inch, every line of his body, she still can’t keep her eyes off of him and his wonderful grace.  

Once he’s out of view, Sereda turns back to face the ocean.  The ocean fades into the cloudless sky, and all these years on the surface and she still finds it more than a little overwhelming.  It’s a good thing, though, and taking it in clears her mind of all her worries.  

Her body aches in new and old ways, which has been happening ever since she became pregnant.  She catalogues the pains, making note of the new ones.  They’ll keep working, and she’ll keep aching, and she’ll probably be able to persuade Zevran to give her one of his famed Antivan massages.  

Once she’s catalogued the pain in her back, her arms, deep in her belly, she wiggles her toes in the ocean before turning to go into their home.  When she sees Zevran with one of their babies in his arms, she knows that all the worry and fear is so worth it.  All of their pain has been worth it, to bring them here.  To bring them home.  


End file.
